I miss you. Umm, no… Actually I only miss being around you. I don’t think we spent enough time together that I can say I miss you. All I could do was grab every opportunity to roam about you and mesmerize myself with the sensation of your presence. You were the star that shone so bright that I got blind to my history. Little girl, you were bright enough—so bright that I was afraid to come close to you every time. Though I could feel the sheer pleasure of walking around you and sitting beside you and attempting, every now and then, to strike a conversation with you, you had the spark, the unprecedented charm that got me too frightened to walk even an inch closer. I knew if I did that, I would burn. I found myself in a position where I only admired your beauty from afar.

The big, bright eyes, the tiny smile, the mild agitation, the soft giggle, the rosy lips, the black gown that became you, the white face, the little stature—if I was allowed to sit and look at you, I would fix my eyes on you for days. And it is no exaggeration. 

But I wonder why you didn’t take the initiative. I behaved like I was a fun-loving guy. I really am… sometimes. I make people laugh, didn’t you see? You laughed, too, on my dance steps—I remember clearly, very clearly. I play and replay the video that has captured that rare sight of yours—the fire of my heart, the treasure of my ecstasy. I would never tell you what all it meant for me, what unfathomable emotions it awoke and how it is bothering me now to know that you have gone your way, leaving me with questions I can never find the answers to. I would never tell you, because you would never understand. You might laugh and tell me that I must grow up, and wipe your eyes and laugh some more, while I would simply stand there, allowing you to murder me, capturing the ever-beautiful scene in my heart so that I have something to remember after I die. 

Your Majesty, I would like to tell you that 

I

  Am

        Love

and you must know me….

You were the surprise I had quite expected, the surprise I knew, though, that I would not be given. But surprises always excite us. So do you, even today.

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You can choose to keep brooding over what wrong things you did in the past and curse yourself for being stupid or you can draw the right lesson out of them and happily move on. No doubt, it is difficult. It keeps popping up in your head and you find it a tremendous difficulty to focus on what is important at the moment. But in life, there are no mistakes but only lessons learned. Your past must not hinder your growth. It must not stop you from manifesting the infinite possibility that lies within you. If you are stuck, be alert. Wake up, my friend. Guard your thoughts and actions, so you don’t end up messing yourself. Do you notice that you find yourself numb and clueless sometimes? It is because there is still a lot of growth you need. You have a lot of work to do—great work. You need to re-build yourself. Your bad times are a calling. It is high time you go hard at work. And if at this moment, you keep dwelling on your past and thinking how you might have done something different so it could go well or how you might have thought twice before making a decision then you will never change the way you have become. You will never be able to change the way you live and think and feel at present. Do you want that to happen? Do you not want yourself to be a bit better, a bit more alive like you used to be? Are you waiting for the time when you will find yourself amidst nothing but hollowness? Oh, the thought itself gives me goose bumps. It gets me worried. You are already going through bad times and if you lose hope, chances are you will succumb to them. Don’t let that happen. Don’t act a loser. Fight hard and stay out of the clutches of mediocrity. It is all about your choices. Nothing else works here—no money, no friendship, no drugs, no women, no Social Media—nothing but your wise choices, and the faith that you have in yourself. You can choose either to mourn the losses or get back up and fight like a true warrior. I know you are. After all the dark times and battles that you never thought you would win, you are here. Today, if you look back, I am sure you will be inclined to laugh at the numerous times you thought you wouldn’t make it through. You are finally here, young fellow! You should be proud of yourself. What a beautiful fight it has been! You made it. You are built in such a way that you can go through any circumstances just like the person you are and come out of them twice the person you were. Fear is not your thing. Forget about your pain; just remember how you took others out of theirs. Such an enormous strength you have, my dear friend. You only have to believe in yourself. You are in no way less than the people around you. And your circumstances are in no way bigger than your strengths. You have to know that. Have faith and trust the process, because it is only an impermanent phase like any other. It, too, will pass. So stop crying. Stop thinking why it happened to you and start thinking how you can make it through. Get up and fight now. The gods wait to delight in you.

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