There is a stain on the sofa. There is dirt at the corners of the room. There are loud, improper people in society. There is conditional love. There are selfish people who have nothing but toxicity in their heads and who are immature. There are bitter memories of the past, and there are worries of the future. The world is not perfect, nor are life's experiences. There are deaths.
At the same time, the blue color of the sofa shines brightly in the sun. There are people who bring with themselves self-awareness, acknowledgment, kindness, and genuine empathy - who believe in being good things instead of only saying good things. There is pure, unconditional love - no demands and no entitlements. There is empathy and sunny afternoons, green grass, and the joy of the present - be it the wind blowing on your face or the way you arrange your bookshelf. There are people who bring wisdom, purposeful involvement, and hence, achievements that they are happy about, not proud of. There is death, but at the same time, eternal peace.
This duality will never go away. It is the way the world has formed and will continue for as long as it does. I acknowledge the toxicity and negativity, but at the same time, I choose to sow and water the seeds of purity and positivity. Both exist. We choose the one we would like to grow in our minds. While there is inherent imperfection in the world around us, much of what we see depends on the kind of things that we have grown in our minds.
In this respect, the Japanese term 'wabi-sabi' is worth noting. I am not aware of any exact English translation, but loosely, it means a worldview characterized by finding meaning in imperfections. Adherents of wabi-sabi aesthetics voluntarily make pots with cracks and make visible fillings to those cracks, which they find beautiful. That is the essence of the reality around us. There is imperfection, and it is beautiful!
Many times, though, it is difficult to not be worried about the bitter things in life. When you are humiliated by your loved one, for example, the natural instinct is fear and disbelief and all the bitter feelings you can imagine. That's the body's natural response, and no human will have anything otherwise. And there could be plenty of negativity involved in that. But when you keep thinking about those times later on in life, those will be your mind's tricks. Those are just thoughts that bother you for no reason. You are beating yourself up for what you are not anymore. What's the point? But yes, it's obvious you don't do it on your own. And you worry about not achieving enough as well? The worries of the future. We either live in memories or in imaginations - none of that is us anymore. What we are is what we presently are. The goal is not to deal with these thoughts - yes, there are just thoughts. This is one of the misconceptions about meditation - to fight the negative thoughts. You can't fight your thoughts. For one, because it's no use trying to deal with things that are inherently toxic and negative and two, because the mind has a tendency to grow things you deal with. Don't think of wine, I say, and all you can think of is wine. Fighting anything inherently negative isn't the solution, including the mind. The goal is to just be aware - that's the essence of meditation. Thoughts flow like a river. They come and they go. Know that you're separate. Know that what you are is who you are right now. We realize the value of this lesson only when we are going to die.
Another Japanese term that teaches a lot and helps us deal with emotional challenges is ikebana, the Japanese art of arranging flowers. The thing is that the ikebana instructors arrange flowers with such attention that they forget about any disturbing thoughts. This method teaches us the art of being present in the moment and finding beauty in the simplest of activities. You don't need to find flowers to arrange. You can find beauty in brushing your teeth or taking a shower - feeling every drop of water that falls on your skin and experiencing the sheer joy of being present. You can pay attention to the trees dancing to the rhythms of the wind and feel the joy of being present. There is beauty in every single thing around us. We only need to be available in the moment. Many people mistake being present with analyzing the present. Being present also means being empty from within because mindfulness happens only when the mind is like a blank slate. "It's a beautiful flower," you don't even have to have this thought in order for you to be present while arranging flowers. "It's a flower," this thought also shouldn't be there. It has to be only the consciousness and the flower - nothing between the two. It's a difficult task where you start being speaking to yourself so there is a mediator. But with time, when the consciousness is really ready, the mediator vanishes.
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